Monday, June 30, 2014

Playthings and Childhood Memories

I had a soft and squishy toy full of red, curly hair called a Hugabunch when I was 5 or 6 years old. I took her with me everywhere. I even lost her clothes at some point and just carried her around naked. I got her very dirty! I’m pretty sure she was given to me because she was similar to the little orphan Annie. I couldn’t tell you what I named that doll but I can tell you that she made me feel very loved.

This childhood toy was a seed sown into my future. I was head over heels in love with the movie, "Annie", as a kid.  I even dressed up like her with eyeliner freckles and a curly red wig and sang Tomorrow on occasion. Yes, she had a huge impact on my life.

This plaything resembling an optimistic little orphan girl with an indomitable spirit symbolized a dream in my heart yet to be recognized.

A dream that would get worn out and soiled over the years.
A dream that would get stripped from me by my own choice to drag it in the dirt.
A dream that would not be named until I really believed that God loved me.

Like Annie,
I wanted to believe the best even when the odds were stacked against me
I longed to help others that couldn’t help themselves
I fought for my right to be heard, to be me, to be loved

But I didn't realize that I had the power to go after my dreams until much later in life.
I didn't know that I had everything in me to make them happen.

In the film, when Annie was adopted by the wealthy Daddy Warbucks, her life changed forever. She was loved and known. Her past as an orphan was forgotten. She had a new name.

I eventually lost my sacred Hugabunch doll.
And I honestly don’t even remember being sad about it.
It was time to let her go.

So I did... with determination and a brave spirit that only came after being down in the mud for a while.
I had to choose whether I was going to live in the past or make the most of the future.
Don't we all?

Through some trial and error, I finally let go of what I thought I had to be....of what I used to be.
I finally surrendered to the One who saw the One who made me "me."

Oh, I was worn out and over-used.
Just like my sweet baby doll.

But, that's when Daddy God found me.
He picked me up, dusted me off and gave me a new name.

Jesus was enough so I am enough.
He is all I'll ever need.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.
The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, 
who loved me and gave Himself for me." - Galatians 2:20

Now I know my worth and value is not in who I was (or even who I will ever be) but in Who adopted me as His own.
Thank God for His amazing grace!

I can sing this song from the depths of my heart and actually mean it!
Why don't you join me?

The sun'll come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
there'll be sun
Just thinkin' about tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow till' there's none

When I'm stuck in the day that's gray and lonely
I just stick up my chin and grin and say oh

The sun'll come out tomorrow
So you got to hang on
till' tomorrow, come what may!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow
You're only a day away!

1 comment:

Mariann Benton said...

Never woulda thought that was you looking where you are today .. That's awesome Harm n very touching .. I can deff relate jus not at the point where I have found "ENOUGH" yet !!!!